WTF Weekends (only a day late)

I'm a day late and also I'm gonna be pulling back from my promise of 3 posts a week. I'm still going to try to stick to that goal, but there will be guaranteed posts on the weekend and Thursdays. I'm gonna try and stick another post in between those two. Look reading every single thing Warren Ellis writes take up a lot of time. OK so now that's out of the way on to the review.
WTF weekends presents The Phantom:
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"Slam Evil" Wow that is a bad tagline. Anyways "The Phantom" movie was released in '96 when Hollywood was mining old comic strips for movies before they realized comic books are a vital raping ground. I'm still bitter about Constantine.
Seeing as how "The Phantom" has a long history and is beloved around the world this movie can't be that bad right? wrong. If it weren't for Billy Zane, this movie would be unwatchable. The "romantic scenes" between Mr Zane and his co-star Kristy Swanson, "The original Buffy the Vampire Slayer", are about as sexy as a priest and a nun reading the tax code. The villain is played by Treat Williams, and while he makes an effort it falls short, way short. The movie has plenty of "action and laughs", or at least they are advertised. I didn't see any, maybe I fell asleep.

I think I've made it clear that this movie has no place in any discerning movie fan's collection. So why is it here? The nostalgia factor. The fact that things we enjoyed as children are colored for the rest of our lives. Nostalgia is to blame for so many things I've spent money on, from Transformers: The Movie (Starring Orson Welles & Leonard Nimoy), to my copies of Verve Pipe cds. Now most people would defend these decisions saying that they still enjoy these things, but I will be honest with you dear reader. These things are fucking terrible and I know it. Yet like that case of herpes, I can't rid myself of them.